Spirit In The Woods (2014)

Spirit In The Woods commits the pen-ultimate sin of horror films. Now there are many sins that a film can commit but the worst – the absolute worst – is to be lazy.

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This film is boring. The characters have no arc, the dialog doesn’t flow, there is no discernible plot, and the only interesting story threads are dropped as soon as they are introduced. The cinematography is terrible and it’s clear that the actors took the whole thing about as seriously as everyone else involved with the project – which is to say, not at all. There are no subplots. There is barely a plot to hold the whole piece together. It’s not scary.

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Hell, this film isn’t even interesting.

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I like horror films with a slow and subtle buildup. When they work, they create some of the best stories in the genre. And then there are films like this, which don’t even try. I honestly hope no one made a lot of money on this, because even the costume department managed to screw things up. FYI, if you’re going to portray a recently discharged soldier, try not to give them a civilian haircut.

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This shouldn’t be called horror. It’s a collection of scenes spliced together with random narration added in hopes of adding some very sad semblance of a plot. The only – literally the only – interesting part of the film was the reaction videos of people within the community reacting to the tragedy. Shoot a movie about that! Those characters actually had screen presence and interesting things to say. I want to see more of them.

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Furthermore, the sad excuse for a plot that drove this movie didn’t even make sense. What sort of biology class requires a film, a presentation, and a paper on…what, exactly? Collecting leaves? We never do figure out what the students are supposed to be doing in the woods anyway. It’s a flimsy excuse to move the plot forward.

Don’t see this movie. Go watch something interesting.

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